Normal

It’s when you realize you’re never going to be

Normal.

It’s when you stop and think,

“Was I ever normal?”

Was there ever a point in my life where I wasn’t

Sad?

Where it wasn’t just

Lurking

In the

Shadows?

How do I stop it from

Consuming

Me?

How do I even know who

‘Me’ is?

Without the

Sadness, and the

Fear…

What do I have?

Is that simply what is

Normal…

For me?

Get Over It

Don’t brush it off.

Don’t tell me it’s

Just

Hormones;

That it’s

Just a

Phase.

Don’t tell me I’m

Just being

Moody;

That I’ll get

Over

It.

Don’t brush it off.

But you did.

Because I was

Young,

I was an emotional

Teenager,

And teenagers

Can’t

Have

Serious

Problems.

Because they’re

Just

Kids.

Don’t brush it off.

Don’t write my pain off

as attitude,

Don’t punish me for

Feeling.

Because you

Brushed it off,

So did I.

I believed you.

I thought there must be

Something

Wrong

With me.

I thought you were

Right,

That it would pass,

That it was just a

Phase,

Hormones,

Youth.

But it wasn’t.

It was a problem, a

Serious

Problem.

And you

Just

Said;

Get over it.

Mirror

Take a look at your

Mirror.

Take a seat in front of it and

Stare.

See who

Watches

You.

Lean in

Closer.

Examine every facet, every

Pore

Of their skin;

The depth of their

Eyes;

The creases on the

Surface.

Take a look at your

Mirror:

Who is staring back?

Your reflection

Is only as deep

As the surface of your

Skin.

Just Me

I don’t have monsters.

There are no demons living

Inside me.

It’s just

Me.

I’m not battling thoughts or

suppressing urges,

It’s just

Me.

It’s me who decides to

Pick up the

Blade.

It’s me who decides to

Use it or

To not.

It’s me who decides to

Wake up in the morning and

Live.

I’m not fighting demons.

I’m not killing my monsters.

I’m just

Me.

And even if I don’t

Like it,

I’m all I’ve

Got.

&

Yesterday I was

Sitting in the sun and

Driving on the highway and

Reading a book and

Sipping tea and

Painting my nails and

Twirling my hair and

Singing in the shower and

Smiling for no reason.

Today I am

Crying myself to sleep and

Rocking back and forth and

Barely hanging on and

Sitting in the dark and

Staring at the wall and

Feeling worthless and

Being worthless and

Being stuck in a corner and

There’s no way out and

I can’t do it anymore and